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Resolutions – This is me

SINCE the year started, I have been a roll of bitterness, anger, hatred and boiling blood, seeking vengeance and daring my tormentors to keep doing it.

I had a pretty rough 2016 and one of my many resolutions was ‘I will not cry anymore”. Just like many of us, none of my resolutions have been met. First quarter of the year is done and I am nowhere near resolution number one. Even the crying bit, i have cried and cried. Beats logic right?

Well, now I will reach all my resolutions. I can only do too much. I will go step by step and make me happy and thus be a ball of joy and glad.

Here is what I am planing to do.

  1. To be happy, I have to seek my joy from within, I have to be the source of my happiness. That is the only way. So this goal, as easy as it sounds, will start the moment I open my eyes in the morning. I will seek happiness and joy so that i can be a better mother and wife.
  2. I will spread my resolutions on a monthly Basis. This month I am working on Self Love and Happiness. April has 30 days and it happens to be my birth month, so the resolution is perfect for the month.
  3. Each end month i will sit and evaluate my resolution for that month and see how far I am and I believe with number of days in a month I will be able to reach all my resolutions.

You do nor have to have 12 resolutions, you can have 3 and word your ass off to reach them. All you need to put in mind is that you need to have realistic goals. Your goals need to be SMART.

In this life, we have to be the change we want to see in others. It has to start with me then those around me.

XoXo

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Inner Joy

I am struggling to find inner joy myself. Lets all be true to ourselves, are we truly happy? From the inside out? If Yes, then you know it is hard work and there are days you want to crawl into a safe place and forget the world exists. Life becomes a huge mess and you pray the earth to open up and swallow you whole. Right? Yeah. Been there done that.

How do we work on inner joy and inner peace? It is a continuous process that does not end any time soon till death robs us. It takes a tone of work and whole lot of sacrifice and discipline.  But we all know that we cannot reap what we have not sown. Work hard and reap hard.

Inner peace is a result of thinking before reacting, calculating our reaction to many situations, and knowing that every choice has a consequence. Inner peace is a result of positive thoughts. I know its like saying not to get angry or not being true to our emotions. No, when you find inner peace it does not make you immune to hurt, anger or breakdowns, no, it just makes you reflect on how you react to those emotions. It is knowing when to fight and when to sit and watch things unfold.

Inner peace guarantees a more informed reaction to different trigger emotions and also having consequences that we can stand by and say yeah i decided to do that and that is the result. Inner peace is a ticket to beautiful and fulfilling life. And the positive ambience we illuminate to those we touch in our lives directly or indirectly.

Let us all work for inner peace and tranquility.

Xoxo

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Dear Husband

Hope you are well as you toss and turn in your bed trying to imagine how you will bed the girl you saw in your office today.

This is your wife, (at least that is what i think i am) you must think am stupid to still wear that title with so much pride right? Well, husband am not stupid am just a woman in love and a woman who still believes in marriage and that this institution needs saving.

I am that wife you come home to late at night reaking of her cheap perfumes and trying to mask it with your silly jokes and lies of how there was traffic and how this chic sat next to you and gave you the smell of her perfume.

I am that woman you want to make love with just after you have bedded one of your many ‘ladies’ and because i love you, i agree to open my fount of love for you.

I am that woman you come home to and complain today you do not feel like eating skuma and ugali yet that’s what we cooked, i make you whatever you want.

I am that wife who has tolerated your bullshit for years and yet you get tired and decide to eat outside. I am that woman who one day you felt that she would be ideal to be your wife. Yet now YOU are tired and need a fresh girl.

I am that wife, you think can do nothing about your cheating and lying ways. Yes I am that wife you think is stupid because she is still with you regardless of what you do. I am that woman you once saw and was so aroused and exited to be with.

The scars you have left are not just scars, they are wounds. The Pain is too much.

I am that wife who is so in-love with you that, she cannot function properly if you are not home. I am that wife whose whole world revolves around you and the children we bore. have you forgotten? Yeah, I am that wife that carried pregnancies to term and will change the world for you.

Bottom line, I am with you because i love and cherish you. Gone are the days where women would stay in marriages because of the children. Long gone are the days that you could tie a woman down with children.

News flash Mr. I am here because i love you and that i am here because i want to be.

XoXo

 

 

 

 

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Dear Mr. Politician

Hope you are well. (Who am i kidding?) You are well, apart from the toss and turns you have at night trying to figure out how you will get more money in your pocket by dethroning or maintaining the throne.

I am an average Kenyan. You say i am your boss and i hit my chest and say you are in that office because i said so. Interesting. As the boss, i have power to correct you and also sack you right? Well that is not the case. (who is fooling who?)

In addition to being an average Kenyan, i am also the same Kenyan you hire to fight my fellow Kenyan (you must think am stupid) i cannot blame you, i have shown you my weakness and you being the calculative and menacing being you are you use it against me. I am also the Kenyan whose brother, sister, mother, father and children (None of who are related to you) were killed during the post election violence that was all so that you can have the throne. (Again you must think i am stupid). I am also the same Kenyan who killed my neighbor because he/she is from another community (Again, not related to you).

Well, i think i am in a position to say that, I am not that Kenyan again. None of you is worth being in power. None of you has proven beyond reasonable doubt that you can take care of my Motherland. You can stop the bickering you are doing and start working on the job we employed you to do. You can stop seeing the spec in your brother’s eye and look att the log in your eye.

I am a fed up Kenyan and considering your actions are not making it any better i am really considering the option of relieving you of your duties. Seriously! I am. I still have the power to do that right?

You can stop the tossing and turning in your beds. The money you have is enough to last you a lifetime. Let us look for other employees who will be able to do what you cannot.

I think i can end my letter there. Hope it sinks in your gluttonous heads.

Regards

Kenyan.

 

 

 

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WHEN IS IT TIME TO GIVE UP

They say everyone has a limit. They say everyone has a breaking point. What they did not tell us is when we can say, “hey this is my limit or breaking point.” Another thing that i think was forgotten and yet it was very important is a manual for relationships, by this i mean all types of relationships.

I recently bought a DVD player and alas it came with a manual and that made it very easy. in five minutes my DVD was up and running.

Imagine how it would be if human beings came with a manual or relationships were a gadget that came with a manual. I know it would be a dead life but i am allowed to dream right?

In life we face a lot of hurdles and as it is some leave us weak and make us wonder if it is worth it. Others leave us stronger than we were. But all in all, imagine how easy it would be if we had a manual for all this and more.

The year started on a high note but still there are extremes and it makes me want to break and say, AM DONE. But there is just that one thing that keeps you going and makes you think, hey i can do this. I can actually make this work.

That ray of sunshine that has been placed in your life as a constant reminder of just how sweet life can be, if only we look at it with a positive eye. Shit happens (forgive my language) but what we learn from all this is what matters. How we handle the issues in our lives is what matters. So as the year grows white hair, look at life with a positive eye.

Take it by the horns and move forward.

 

Njura Njeru

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Sticking to my Lane

I have a friend who works in a very racial environment. I mean whites stick to whites and blacks sticks to black kinda thing.

My friend is black and she holds the highest post in the office compared to her fellow black folk. She is a very friendly person and will go out of her way to ensure that she is in good terms with both her black mates and her white bosses. (The fact that i am using black and white in this article is actually breaking my heart. But there is a picture i am trying to draw and it needs to be clear)

She is the kind of person who will apologize without knowing what she did wrong, she is the kind of person who will go out of her way to maintain a friendship. Now, my friend is at the top immediately after the white bosses and she sits with her black folk and eats and chit chats with her fellow black colleagues. She refuses to see herself as their superior in whatever manner.

Recently something happened and she had a fallout with one of her black colleague. No blows were exchanged and no words were exchanged just hostility from her colleague. It got to a place where my friend decided enough is enough. She bluntly told her colleague, if i have wronged you in anyway please let me know.

That was the end of the friendship. Now point of my blog today.

My friend learnt a pretty hefty lesson from her colleagues. Sticking to your own lane. She used to go out of her way to make sure that her colleagues were well and that they faced no issues. If she heard anything from the bosses she would tell them. She thought that friendship to them is important. She realized she has been wasting her time and that there is a fine line between Colleagues and Friends and thus the phrase stick to your lane. It is very important to know where the line is. She is hurting because she thought she had friends but no, all they did was use her. But now she has decided to STICK TO HER LANE.

Njura Njeru

 

 

 

 

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Breaking News.

Life is a roller-coaster. We are tossed and turned this way that way, like in a matatu on Kenyan roads. Everyday brings a new thing,  a new wave of immorality, murder and whatever our society wakes up to everyday. We wake up to call girls being killed, we wake up to children being dumped in garbage areas, we wake up to students being raped by the very people who are supposed to be their keepers the very people we leave our children (teenagers, Toddlers and babies) with.

When a nanny beats up a child to vent out frustrations by the boss, how does it help? I am in no mood to get into that because i will write words that i cannot take back and i am not willing to go down that road.

When as a client you take or reach out for the services of a call girl with the intention of rape, murder and whatever else is running through you rotten head, how does that help the society? It just leave tears and a whole lot of anger and hurt in the hearts of the fellow Kenyans and not forgetting the victim’s parents. My condolence to the families of the ladies who were killed in Nakuru (these are the only cases that we are aware of). Thou shall not judge. I know there is a verse in the Holy book that says and clearly states that.

Students being raped by the very people who are trained to impact knowledge into their eager heads. How do we even look at this? The parents not being aware until the police call them. Did you take your child to the police station for studies or to a  school with trained teachers. How is it that a teacher looks at a child who is supposed to look up to him and see sex? How does a teacher look at a child whose innocence is written all over her face and see sex? I am shocked beyond words because i am a young parent and i am worried where our system is going to? There is a swahili saying that goes “Nazi moja bovu harabu ya yote” easy translation “one rotten potatoe in a bag it spoils every potato in the bag.” At the same time, we are not ones to judge.

I know our children are spoilt brats that have everything spoon fed to them, but regardless of all that, i do not expect a teacher to rape or even think about a student in sexual manner. In my school days, it was a crime punishable by expulsion if you were found fraternizing with a teacher. But then our teachers our old enough to be our fathers and mothers. The teachers nowadays are as young as 24 years old. In my very humble opinion this is one of the reasons why our teachers are lacking manners. They are too young and their hormones are all over the place. I think if we took the responsibility of raising responsible children then and only then can we be comfortably leaving your child in a school.

I do not have a solution at hand. But as the saying goes “Charity begins at home.” Let us take our children and make time for them. Let us be responsible of how our children behave out there. Let us be the parents who cares what my child does with her body and mind. Let us supervise our children.

Tough love worked for us. Lets do what our responsible parents did with us.

I love you mum and dad.

Njura Njeru