Resolutions – This is me

SINCE the year started, I have been a roll of bitterness, anger, hatred and boiling blood, seeking vengeance and daring my tormentors to keep doing it.

I had a pretty rough 2016 and one of my many resolutions was ‘I will not cry anymore”. Just like many of us, none of my resolutions have been met. First quarter of the year is done and I am nowhere near resolution number one. Even the crying bit, i have cried and cried. Beats logic right?

Well, now I will reach all my resolutions. I can only do too much. I will go step by step and make me happy and thus be a ball of joy and glad.

Here is what I am planing to do.

  1. To be happy, I have to seek my joy from within, I have to be the source of my happiness. That is the only way. So this goal, as easy as it sounds, will start the moment I open my eyes in the morning. I will seek happiness and joy so that i can be a better mother and wife.
  2. I will spread my resolutions on a monthly Basis. This month I am working on Self Love and Happiness. April has 30 days and it happens to be my birth month, so the resolution is perfect for the month.
  3. Each end month i will sit and evaluate my resolution for that month and see how far I am and I believe with number of days in a month I will be able to reach all my resolutions.

You do nor have to have 12 resolutions, you can have 3 and word your ass off to reach them. All you need to put in mind is that you need to have realistic goals. Your goals need to be SMART.

In this life, we have to be the change we want to see in others. It has to start with me then those around me.



Inner Joy

I am struggling to find inner joy myself. Lets all be true to ourselves, are we truly happy? From the inside out? If Yes, then you know it is hard work and there are days you want to crawl into a safe place and forget the world exists. Life becomes a huge mess and you pray the earth to open up and swallow you whole. Right? Yeah. Been there done that.

How do we work on inner joy and inner peace? It is a continuous process that does not end any time soon till death robs us. It takes a tone of work and whole lot of sacrifice and discipline.  But we all know that we cannot reap what we have not sown. Work hard and reap hard.

Inner peace is a result of thinking before reacting, calculating our reaction to many situations, and knowing that every choice has a consequence. Inner peace is a result of positive thoughts. I know its like saying not to get angry or not being true to our emotions. No, when you find inner peace it does not make you immune to hurt, anger or breakdowns, no, it just makes you reflect on how you react to those emotions. It is knowing when to fight and when to sit and watch things unfold.

Inner peace guarantees a more informed reaction to different trigger emotions and also having consequences that we can stand by and say yeah i decided to do that and that is the result. Inner peace is a ticket to beautiful and fulfilling life. And the positive ambience we illuminate to those we touch in our lives directly or indirectly.

Let us all work for inner peace and tranquility.


Life as a whole


At times we fight battles that we are not even aware of. It gets so bad that we just feel, tired emotionally, physically and spiritually. The fatigue affects our well-being as mothers, fathers, wives husbands, sisters, brother or children. It wares us out and makes us moody and highly irritable. The slightest provocation is enough to throw us over the edge. We are snappy and can easily irritate those around us.

If we do not find ways of dealing with these invisible battles or dealing with the fatigue it causes, then we are in for a huge disappointment. Life will become a huge ball of disappointments, tears, blood pressure issue. We will die even before we see our future dreams coming true, we will not get to see our aspirations coming to be. It is a total waste of time, fighting battles that cannot be won, fighting invisible demons.

We need to find a way of letting go of all the negative energy in us. We need to know when to fight or flee. We need to know the worth of what we are fighting for and more so is it worth our energy? This is hard given that we fight these battles with so much gusto that we do not have the time to sit and watch from a distance and see what it is doing to us and our loved ones.

We need to have mechanisms that work for us and those we love. We need to stop creating a hostile environment for our loved ones in as much as they might be the cause of battles. We need to work on handling our anger and learn how to fight our battles calmly and silently, I know its like asking a snail to run a marathon, but we need to find a way of doing just that.

My mechanisms are reading and writing. What are yours. It does not need to be complex or highly important, it can be goofing around with your kids. Enjoying a swim alone. enjoying a drink alone. It can be as simple as watching the stars.

Find what does it for you and do it. Work on it. Be full of positive energy, for your own good and the good of the ones you love. We all know that positivity starts with us. If we have positive energy we emit positive energy to the people around you and with that your life changes and becomes a huge ball of happiness and joy. Yeah there is bound to be downs but if we can manage the downs we will always enjoys our highs.

Let us enjoy our lives. We deserve that and much more.

Be good and enjoy the weekend.



Dear Husband

Hope you are well as you toss and turn in your bed trying to imagine how you will bed the girl you saw in your office today.

This is your wife, (at least that is what i think i am) you must think am stupid to still wear that title with so much pride right? Well, husband am not stupid am just a woman in love and a woman who still believes in marriage and that this institution needs saving.

I am that wife you come home to late at night reaking of her cheap perfumes and trying to mask it with your silly jokes and lies of how there was traffic and how this chic sat next to you and gave you the smell of her perfume.

I am that woman you want to make love with just after you have bedded one of your many ‘ladies’ and because i love you, i agree to open my fount of love for you.

I am that woman you come home to and complain today you do not feel like eating skuma and ugali yet that’s what we cooked, i make you whatever you want.

I am that wife who has tolerated your bullshit for years and yet you get tired and decide to eat outside. I am that woman who one day you felt that she would be ideal to be your wife. Yet now YOU are tired and need a fresh girl.

I am that wife, you think can do nothing about your cheating and lying ways. Yes I am that wife you think is stupid because she is still with you regardless of what you do. I am that woman you once saw and was so aroused and exited to be with.

The scars you have left are not just scars, they are wounds. The Pain is too much.

I am that wife who is so in-love with you that, she cannot function properly if you are not home. I am that wife whose whole world revolves around you and the children we bore. have you forgotten? Yeah, I am that wife that carried pregnancies to term and will change the world for you.

Bottom line, I am with you because i love and cherish you. Gone are the days where women would stay in marriages because of the children. Long gone are the days that you could tie a woman down with children.

News flash Mr. I am here because i love you and that i am here because i want to be.






Life as a whole

Learning to Let Go

There is a saying that goes, it is never that serious. If you look at it with a keen eye, it is very true. We need to learn how to let go. Letting go does not necessarily mean you do not care. No. It only means that you are allowing things to take their own course and that you are not allowing yourself to get worked up over things.

In our day to day life, it is so tiring reacting to every little or big thing that happens in our lives. We need to master the art of letting go.

We are in the election year, given everything that is happening and has happened, we are tired of all the politicians, we wish we can get a new crop of politicians, we wish we can see the current politicians all rot in jail, Right? Yes. At-least i know i do. why? because they are just wasting our time and resources promising us how they will be good and how they are going to work in our interest. We all know that all that is propaganda. We can count the number of politicians who are actually working. In this case,  we can let go by not listening to their nonsense and voting in the people we know can work.

In marriages, when it comes to cheating spouses, letting go is the key. If we can let go and focus on us, the cheating spouse will be left wondering why he/she is being so stupid.

Life is best lived knowing that people will disappoint you and all you do is acknowledge the disappointment and move on Thus letting go.

How to let go?

First and foremost, you need to learn how to manage your anger. Assess the situation and then move on swiftly, if it is something that can be sorted, sort it out and move on.

Another way of letting go is letting go of excess baggage in our life. Excess baggage may be in form of people, thoughts, deeds, addictions and behaviors. If it brings you stress, let go.

Lastly, do not try to fix things that do not need fixing; also do not try to fix what CANNOT be fixed. Those are two different scenarios.

XoXo –



Dear Mr. Politician

Hope you are well. (Who am i kidding?) You are well, apart from the toss and turns you have at night trying to figure out how you will get more money in your pocket by dethroning or maintaining the throne.

I am an average Kenyan. You say i am your boss and i hit my chest and say you are in that office because i said so. Interesting. As the boss, i have power to correct you and also sack you right? Well that is not the case. (who is fooling who?)

In addition to being an average Kenyan, i am also the same Kenyan you hire to fight my fellow Kenyan (you must think am stupid) i cannot blame you, i have shown you my weakness and you being the calculative and menacing being you are you use it against me. I am also the Kenyan whose brother, sister, mother, father and children (None of who are related to you) were killed during the post election violence that was all so that you can have the throne. (Again you must think i am stupid). I am also the same Kenyan who killed my neighbor because he/she is from another community (Again, not related to you).

Well, i think i am in a position to say that, I am not that Kenyan again. None of you is worth being in power. None of you has proven beyond reasonable doubt that you can take care of my Motherland. You can stop the bickering you are doing and start working on the job we employed you to do. You can stop seeing the spec in your brother’s eye and look att the log in your eye.

I am a fed up Kenyan and considering your actions are not making it any better i am really considering the option of relieving you of your duties. Seriously! I am. I still have the power to do that right?

You can stop the tossing and turning in your beds. The money you have is enough to last you a lifetime. Let us look for other employees who will be able to do what you cannot.

I think i can end my letter there. Hope it sinks in your gluttonous heads.








They say everyone has a limit. They say everyone has a breaking point. What they did not tell us is when we can say, “hey this is my limit or breaking point.” Another thing that i think was forgotten and yet it was very important is a manual for relationships, by this i mean all types of relationships.

I recently bought a DVD player and alas it came with a manual and that made it very easy. in five minutes my DVD was up and running.

Imagine how it would be if human beings came with a manual or relationships were a gadget that came with a manual. I know it would be a dead life but i am allowed to dream right?

In life we face a lot of hurdles and as it is some leave us weak and make us wonder if it is worth it. Others leave us stronger than we were. But all in all, imagine how easy it would be if we had a manual for all this and more.

The year started on a high note but still there are extremes and it makes me want to break and say, AM DONE. But there is just that one thing that keeps you going and makes you think, hey i can do this. I can actually make this work.

That ray of sunshine that has been placed in your life as a constant reminder of just how sweet life can be, if only we look at it with a positive eye. Shit happens (forgive my language) but what we learn from all this is what matters. How we handle the issues in our lives is what matters. So as the year grows white hair, look at life with a positive eye.

Take it by the horns and move forward.


Njura Njeru